Month: November 2019

5 Ways to Protect Your Peace During the Holidays

Ever since I can remember I’ve looked forward to this time of year. Overall the holiday season brings good cheer and the opportunity for families to come together. The older I get, and more specifically these last two years, I’ve become acutely aware of what disturbs me during this season. Underneath the excitement is often anxiety surrounding family dynamics. Knowing this, I am actively engaged in guarding my heart and maintaining my joy. Today I’m sharing 5 Ways to Protect Your Peace During the Holidays.

1. Guard Your Conversation

Perhaps it’s a sibling calling to complain about your parents. Or a oarent calling to guilt you into changing your plans. Maybe a friend calling with the latest gossip or drama. This is where I need you to guard your conversation. Redirect the call or end it entirely. Even during face to face conversations don’t be afraid to inform folks that some topics are off limits. You will NOT be explaining why you’re still single. You will NOT be discussing your fertility. You will NOT talk about the recent breakup or your career change. Minding your business is always in order.

2. Guard Your Space

Even if the festivities are at your house this year you have a right to control the energy of your home. Don’t allow people to invade your space with negativity and chaos. It’s not rude, it’s your right. If you’re visiting others, you are not obligated to hug, kiss, sit near, or stand next to anyone whose makes you uncomfortable. Excuse yourself from the table, go upstairs/downstairs to chat, etc… You are not a prisoner.

3. Guard Your Time

Hosting holiday festivities also means that YOU get to decide how long folks stay in your home. If family is notoriously late and inconsiderate, inform them of the start and end times. If you snooze you lose! Having decided to venture out to someone else’s home, you too are not obligated to stay all day. If you can give 3 hours max without feeling overwhelmed so be it.

4. Guard Your Plate

Don’t drink alcohol? Skip the toast or opt for cider. Vegan? Don’t let Grandma slap her famous deviled eggs on your plate. Also, don’t allow what you put on your plate to become the topic of table conversation. No you don’t have to betray yourself and eat foods you avoid, but you also don’t have to eat like abird because mama likes to body shame.

5. Guard Your Money

Finally, if it’s not in your budget, don’t buy it beloved. I know your sister shows up like Old Saint Nick with gifts for everyone… Uncle Bill can’t wait to pull up in his 2020 Range… But you can not afford to go broke trying to buy validation. Honor yourself by committing to the financial discipline you’ve been practicing all year!

As you can see all five of these suggestions can be summed up in one word: boundaries. Setting and maintaining personal boundaries is something I’ve been working on all year. As the holidays approached I could feel myself becoming anxious. I began to worry that those boundaries would make me appear cold or distant. However, I’ve made too much progress in 2019 to lose it all at the dinner table. I encourage you nit to do so either! Xo

Dress//H&M , Wrap//K. Vaughn Scarves , Shoes//Donald J. Pliner

5 Benefits of Keeping a Gratitude Journal

Ever since I was a pre-teen I’ve kept a journal. My mother purchased my first one in middle school. In her spare time, she was a writer. Poetry and songs written in beautiful penmanship tucked away in stacks of dusty notebooks. She encouraged me to write as a way to be creative. I don’t think she realized just how therapeutic it would be also. Nowadays I begin every entry with gratitude. Naming at least 3 things for which I’m grateful. Doing so has changed my perspective. In this post we’ll discover 5 benefits of keeping a gratitude journal.

1. Shifts Our Focus

One can certainly argue that journaling in general relieves stress. Keeping one allows us to identify problems by writing through our thoughts and feelings. Thus, we are more likely to uncover the solutions. However, a gratitude journal not only helps organize thoughts, it helps increase mindfulness. How? By shifting the focus from problems to blessings. We arw are suddenly more aware of what’s going right in our lives. Not what’s wrong.

2. A More Positive Mood

Now more than ever it appears our society is hypersensitive to the perils of this world. Doom and gloom are front and center in the media along with our own individual challenges. The simple practice of naming all the things we’re grateful for trains our brain to be more aware of positivity. This daily reprogramming will increase our overall happiness over time.

3. Greater Satisfaction

I have seen firsthand that expressing my gratitude has given me greater satisfaction. Even scrolling through social media I no longer feel “behind” or “unaccomplished” or “covetous”. Why? Because I am satisfied with my present. Each day I’m reminded of how much I have. How much I’m loved. How far I’ve come as a person. This fills me with thankfulness and that leaves little room for comparison.

4. Better Sleep

First let me say that I work evening shift. So in general, I don’t fall asleep right away when I get in from work. However, I’ve certainly noticed that taking time to write in my gratitude journal before bed has calmed my spirit. After a hot shower, this allows me to refelct and relax. No anxious, worrisome thoughts keeping me awake all night. Instead I am at peace.

5. Increased Generosity

The more we shift our perspective to our blessings, increase positivity, find greater satisfaction, and get better sleep we will inevitably become more generous. Think about it – the more grateful I am, the more likely I am to lend a helping hand to someone else. When I stop thinking about what I don’t have and praise God for what I do… the more I give to others.

I’m sure there are more than 5 ways gratitude journaling has been beneficial , but these are a great place to start. I encourage you to take up this practice with me. Examine all the beauty in your life and document it in a daily journal. Watch yourself uncover more blessings than you ever realized!

Jacket//Kmart , Sweater/Jeans//H&M , Boots//Thrifted


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