Author: Shakira

One Month to Love: Letting Go

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“Love does not dominate; it cultivates.” – Johann Wolfgang Goethe

In the final segment of our study on loving our circle, we explore the art of letting go. Of what you ask? Simply the need to control our lives and the lives of others. Now I know what you’re thinking: I’m not some control freak, I just have better ways of doing things; I have a type A personality. Trust me, I know you mean well, but the truth is we may not even realize we’re treating people this way. Often times we employ these controling behaviors and strategies so invisibly that we’re unaware of our actions.

All of us push people’s buttons to create the experiences and relationships that serve our purpose. Some seek to control by being perfectionists and others by being intimidators. Then there are the worrywarts who control using anxiety while others are constant planners, and some who are micromanagers. In any case, our need to control often stems from core issues in our lives.

The six most common core issues are: hurt, insecurity, pride, guilty, selfishness, and unrealistic expectations. These issues tend to be the underlying reason for our desire to control. Wordly thinking says that taking matters into our own hands will eliminate the fear of the unknown. However, this keeps us from trusting God and others. Godly thinking says that the unknown is a place of trusting God and that perfect love casts out all fear. 

Lasting love isn’t just about what you can add but also what you can let go of in relationships. Simon Peter’s relationship with Jesus is a perfect example of someone who fought for control. The fishing story in Luke 5 describes how Peter had toiled all night with his fishing mates only to repeatedly come up empty. After some resistance and questioning Jesus’ instructions, he finally receives his largest catch ever by giving up control and obeying the master’s instructions. 

This miracle illustrates for us the benefit of giving God control of every area of our lives… not just the spiritual things. He wants to be included in your education, career, friendships, and romantic relationships. There is peace in submission and power in letting go! 

Taupe Tunic + Chocolate Leather

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It’s Friday aka the end of the work week and it’s December, aka the Friday of months. By God’s grace we’ve pushed through these previous eleven months and now have an opportunity to end this last one strong. I’m exactly two weeks into thirty-three so my new year has already begun.

I have no intention of waiting until January 1, 2017 to make any neccessary changes. Death to procrastination! Winter coats on the other hand, they give me all sorts of life honey! For today’s look I’ve pulled my brown shearling coat out of hibernation as temperatures are colder now.

This coat is the perfect outterwear for my cowl neck tunic. This type of sweater is a fall/winter staple for me, especially when paired with skinnies like this brown leather pair. I opted for flat brown ankle boots, because comfort, and completed the look with oversize accessories for a 70’s feel.

 

All these shades of brown look fablous in this winter sunlight, not to mention on my skin. Remember, winter weather shouldn’t cramp your style. Here’s to a great weekend loves!

Coat//Zara , Sweater/ Pants/ Boots// H&M , Handbag//Zara , Glasses//Michael Kors , Hat//Vintage

Cloche Hat + Paisley Skirt

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Happy Belated Thanksgiving everyone! I pray you and your families are well and that you’re enjoying this holiday season. This is my first post in two weeks and beleive me that time away was much needed mentally and physically. I started my birthday (11/18) with prayer and quality time with babe. Then chopped off my hair (new pics soon to come) before spending the weekend in the DMV.

I got to visit one of my dearest friends (s/o to Dawn, xo) and thouroughly enjoyed myself the entire time. Thanksgiving was wonderful as I got to see some family I hadn’t seen in a while. This past weekend has presented some painful challenges for my family, but I expect to be telling you all my victorious testimony soon!

In today’s fashion news, the turtlenecks and corduroy pants are in full effect and I’ve pulled out my boots and tights for daily wear. Winter weather also means it’s time for all those awesome winter accessories like hats, scarves, and gloves. Today’s look features one of my favorite winter pieces. I found this hunter green cloche hat at a local high end vintage shop, Cultured Couture. 

It’s the perfect accessory to match this paisley maxi skirt which was also a thrifted purchase. I decided to let the skirt be the focus and added basic turtleneck with gold jewelry. Next, I added tights, patent heels, and a scarf to keep me warm. Fully comfortable and fully vintage, this look is perfect to head back to work. It’s good to be back loves, XO!

Hat//Vintage , Top//Uniqlo , Skirt//Vintage , Shoes//Nine West , Scarf//H&M 

Houndstooth + Leather

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How do you begin your birthday week? You do it in style, of course! No case of the Monday’s here boo, I’m feeling just fine. So fine I grabbed my favorite wrap to slay my day.

This houndstooth wrap is one size fits all and has a faux leather trim. It’s actually pretty warm, making this a great alternative from your usual outerwear. I have yet to figure out how to wear it as a skirt but when I do I’ll be sure to post my results.

I decided to keep the rest of the outfit pretty simple. A crisp white turtlenck is always chic and pairs perfectly with the wrap. Black faux leather skinnies instantly add a certain edge to the entire look while the classic black stilettos add sophistication.

 

The heels on my shoes and my bright orange lipstick add a pop of color to the ensemble. Just the right amount of sexy and sophistication…this is gonna be a great week!

Wrap//Burlington Coat Factory , Turtleneck//Uniqlo , Pants//H&M , Shoes//Donald Pliner

Quilted Wrap Skirt

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Of all of the stores recently to hit center city Philadelphia, Uniqlo is my favorite. The Japanese company made it’s Philly debut in October 2014 and I immediately fell in love. This place is a dream for anyone who loves fall fashion or has anemia like myself.

All of the clothing is ready to wear and super comfy in these plumetting temperatures. Today’s warm ensemble is centered around this taupe wrap skirt. Fully lined with fleece and filled with stuffing, this skirt, although not long, is super warm.

The neutral color is versatile and can be worn many ways. I’ve decided to pair it with a chocolate top and matching knee boots. I added a silk scarf and a bowler bag to complete the look. The various textures and subtle colors make the neutral tones pop.

 

I can’t wait to style this skirt again. What about you, how would you wear it?

Top//Target , Skirt//Uniqlo , Tights//JC Penny , Scarf//H&M , Bag//Gucci , Shoes//Dollhouse

Plaid Pants + Ivory Blazer

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Well beloveds November is here and that means that it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Why? Because it’s my birthday month! Just how did I kick off my celebration yesterday? By traveling over an hour and a half to get to work thanks to the Philly Septa (our public transportation system) strike.

No shade to the union employess… because benefits, but yesterday’s commute was a hot stanky mess! I made up for it by treating myself to some clearence Halloween candy and a gourmet hot chocolate tho. I have to say Monday’s tartan ensemble has lead to me very own mini plaid revival and I now find myself pulling out all the plaid I own.

Hence today’s outfit features more plaid perfection and loafer love to get you through humpday. Let me just tell you these pants are so comfy you could wear them all week. The stretch fabric makes me forget their not leggings, perfect for long unromantic walk to the train station.

I found this fabulous blazer a few years back from a thrift shop and it’s easily become one of my favorite pieces. The styling options are endless. With my loafers and bowler bag I’m ready to be great. Enjoy your Wednesday loves, try not to work too hard lol!

Top//Target , Blazer//Vintage , Pants//Zara , Shoes//Nine West , Bag//Calvin 

Tartan Skirt + Tassel Loafers

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Another work week is upon us and I hope you’ve had a great weekend. I spent my Friday decorating my office at work for our “Pink Friday” competition in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness. Those of you who follow me on Instagram saw all the festivities in my Insta-Story.

Saturday and Sunday were dedicated to family strategizing for my upcoming wedding and being with my church family. Some changes are being made which I will soon share in detail on here the blog. Best part of my weekend is having my voice completely back. I’m feeling much better, just in time for my birthday month to begin tomorrow!

 

Now that it really feels like fall I’ve decided it’s the perfect time to pull out my turtlenecks and tights. Today I’m wearing both with one of my favorite fall staples, a Tartan skirt. Plaid seems synonymous with back to school and fall fashion and this pleated number takes me back down memory lane.

Growing up I attended private school and I lived in plaid uniforms until 9th grade when I switched to a public high school. This entire look is inspired by those years. I suppose if I could’ve opted for heels instead of loafers, but it’s Monday and to be honest I live in flats at the office. How about you, what are your fall fashion favorites? Let me know in the comments and have a great Monday loves!

Blazer//Forever 21 , Top//Uniqlo , Skirt//Uniqlo , Tights//Target , Shoes//Nine West , Satchel//Zara 

Maroon Bodycon + Bell Sleeve Jacket

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Hello beautiful people, oh how I’ve missed you! Last week I took a much needed break from all social media as per the leading of the Holy Spirit. It was extremely necessary for my sanity considering all that’s been happening in my personal life (possible blog posts forthcoming) as of late.

I fully intended to be back to business by the start of the work week but the way my sinuses are set up… an annoying cough has turned into full on sinusitis accompanied by laryngitis over the weekend. So basically I feel and sound a mess. Luckily, when the weather was delightful here in Philly ya girl took advantage so that I could give the people what they want… good fall fashion!

Temperatures reached record highs last week, which I’m sure is the catalyst for my sinus woes but they afforded me an opprtunity to rock some great new pieces like today’s dress. I found this this gorgeous maroon bodycon dress at my favorite local boutique Smak Parlour in Old City. It features lazer cut detailing on the neckline and hem and the thick fabric is perfect for transition weather when you want to stay warm but aren’t quite ready for tights with your dress.

Beleive it or not it’s actually very comfortable as well. I added my favorite vintage jacket since the dress is sleeveless. It’s pure wool with lovely bell sleeves, which have been trending all year. I honestly couldn’t find my go to black stilettos, so these black patent pumps finished the look. I’m beyond excited fall is here, hope you’re having an awesome Wednesday, talk to you soon!

Dress//Mystic , Jacket//Vintage , Shoes//Nine West

Quilted Jogger + Black Stilettos

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Can you believe it’s Friday again? This week has seriously moved by so quickly. It’s been a blur but it’s been a blessing. Some unexpected challenges came up and ya girl didn’t freak out, which means I passed the test of patience God is trying to teach me. That’s a major win for me!

One of my goals for this weekend is to review the week, finally find my journal so I can write down my thoughts and lessons, and then properly prepare for the week ahead. The coolness of fall is here which means I’ve started transitioning my wardrobe. I’ve started wearing a scarf and jacket to work and I’m sleeping in pajama sets because, PGW (aka the gas company here in Philly).

While unpacking my fall essentials I came across my favorite jogger set by my friend and local designer Brittany DeShields. This cropped quilted jogger is extremely comfy, which is perfect for Friday. Since my hair is being a hater lately I’ve decided to wrap it up turban style in this original K. Vaughn scarf, a fellow Philly designer. I’m keeping it local today and adding chic accessories takes the entire ensemble up a notch.

I hope your week has been good to you and I pray the weekend is even better, see you Monday babes! XO

Jogger//Brittany DeShields , Shoes//Donald Pliner , Scarf//K. Vaughn 

One Month to Love: Risking Awkwardness

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Are your close relationships in the danger zone of “Just Okay” ? 

In each of our close relationships there is a serious need for awkwardness. The kind brought about by diving benaeath the surface and getting real. There is a tendency in long term friendships or romantic relationships to reach a place where we feel we know all there is to know about the other person. Think about it, you’ve been besties for 15 years for crying out loud, what’s there to learn? Or perhaps you feel there’s nothing more to your little brother, after all – you changed his diapers. Maybe you even overlook your parents’ evolution into changing adults?

Instead of intentionally seeking to learn more from these individuals we settle for the following: “How was your day?” “It was okay, yours?” “Eh..it was fine.” Voila! Nothing was said, nothing was learned, just vague generalities. We become strangers to each other and before long, have no idea who our loved ones have become. However, all of this can change, the moment we risk being awkward. When we ask the uncomfortable questions.

News Flash: People are not Mind Readers! 

Yes, I’m sure you know this, but it needs to be said. For example I like to shop (duh, what’s the name of this blog… hello) and that is no secret. My friends also like shopping. What most of them don’t know is that I prefer to shop alone, early in the day, without a crowd. I’d much rather eat with a group than shop with one. Unfortunately, my friends aren’t mind readers, so when I’m squimish about going to a big mall on Black Friday it only appears as if I’m avoiding the squad.

While my scenario wasn’t a serious one, this same principle applies to your familial relationships and the romantic ones. We all recieve love differently. Some of us respond to gift giving, while others need verbal affirmation, still some require acts of service to truly feel loved. The point is, none of these needs will be met without us verbally expressing our needs to those who love us. Let’s resolve today that we’ll risk the awkwardness by asking neccessary questions. Let’s have the willingness to be uncomfortable and go deeper!

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