Author: Shakira

Reflections: Life Lessons from the last Decade

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Inspiration, Life, Uncategorized. Leave a Comment

Happy New Year!! This is my first official blog post of the new year and the new decade. I pray that you enjoyed your holiday season and were able to spend time with those you love. I’ve spent lots of time reflecting on life these last two months. As a result, I’ve decided to compile some of my takeaways in a new series. This week’s installment is all about Life Lessons from the last Decade.

1. Adulting is infinitely harder without Christ

Call me churchy, idc idc idc! The fact remains life would be much harder without Jesus Christ. I could eat all the gluten free, juice all the veggies, do all the pilates, say all the affirmations, buy all the crystals, burn all the sage and NOTHING would be as effective as the transformative power of salvation. Why? Because accepting Christ includes receiving the “helper” aka the Holy Spirit. The one who leads me and guides me into all truth. This means I always have access to peace, resources, healing, wisdom, & hope.

2. Apply for ALL the scholarships

I racked up so much unnecessary student loan debt in undergrad because I was ignorant about just how many scholarships were available to me. And the few scholarships my guidance counselors did suggest? I was too lazy to write the necessary essays to earn free funds. BIG mistake. In the days of old college was the place to explore, be curious, “find yourself”. Frankly, there are less expensive ways to discover your passion. If college is indeed necessary for your career, I suggest starting with a 2 yr community college first and by all means, get some FREE money!

3. FEAR is the root of Self-Sabotage

Procrastination has always been my biggest challenge. Many instructors from high school to college have said that I was an A student who would get C grades only because I procrastinated. This applied to both subjects I excelled and ones where I was failing. The fear of actually succeeding made me avoid certain work. Why? Because then I couldn’t hide that I was capable of more. Then there were subjects like chemistry where the fear of failing became a reality. I didn’t understand the material and was to stubborn to prioritize tutoring. Pride will keep you from asking for help. All of these behaviors are rooted in fear. Fear of failure AND success.

4. Growth is never Comfortable

The wisdom I’ve gained over the past 10 years is not a byproduct of time, because you can be older and not wiser, but a product of growth. The reality of life is that decisions are the building blocks of destiny. Some of the decisions I’ve made have produced good fruit, some produced bitter fruit, both produced newfound wisdom. We learn from our mistakes and then make better choices. Some things I was able to avoid all together thanks to God’s word, wise counsel, and witnessing another’s plight. The last 5 years especially were full of personal growth. They were also some of the roughest… but it was just the refining fire. The pruning of my leaves so I can bear Godly fruit. That growth may be uncomfortable because you end up in unfamiliar territory. But that’s where the magic happens!

I’m sure there are more but I wanted to leave you with these for now. Check back same time next week when I discuss love lessons! Xoxo

Top//HM , Skirt//Burlington, Boots//Go Jane , Bag//Warrior Princess Closet

5 Ways to Protect Your Peace During the Holidays

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Family, Life. Leave a Comment

Ever since I can remember I’ve looked forward to this time of year. Overall the holiday season brings good cheer and the opportunity for families to come together. The older I get, and more specifically these last two years, I’ve become acutely aware of what disturbs me during this season. Underneath the excitement is often anxiety surrounding family dynamics. Knowing this, I am actively engaged in guarding my heart and maintaining my joy. Today I’m sharing 5 Ways to Protect Your Peace During the Holidays.

1. Guard Your Conversation

Perhaps it’s a sibling calling to complain about your parents. Or a oarent calling to guilt you into changing your plans. Maybe a friend calling with the latest gossip or drama. This is where I need you to guard your conversation. Redirect the call or end it entirely. Even during face to face conversations don’t be afraid to inform folks that some topics are off limits. You will NOT be explaining why you’re still single. You will NOT be discussing your fertility. You will NOT talk about the recent breakup or your career change. Minding your business is always in order.

2. Guard Your Space

Even if the festivities are at your house this year you have a right to control the energy of your home. Don’t allow people to invade your space with negativity and chaos. It’s not rude, it’s your right. If you’re visiting others, you are not obligated to hug, kiss, sit near, or stand next to anyone whose makes you uncomfortable. Excuse yourself from the table, go upstairs/downstairs to chat, etc… You are not a prisoner.

3. Guard Your Time

Hosting holiday festivities also means that YOU get to decide how long folks stay in your home. If family is notoriously late and inconsiderate, inform them of the start and end times. If you snooze you lose! Having decided to venture out to someone else’s home, you too are not obligated to stay all day. If you can give 3 hours max without feeling overwhelmed so be it.

4. Guard Your Plate

Don’t drink alcohol? Skip the toast or opt for cider. Vegan? Don’t let Grandma slap her famous deviled eggs on your plate. Also, don’t allow what you put on your plate to become the topic of table conversation. No you don’t have to betray yourself and eat foods you avoid, but you also don’t have to eat like abird because mama likes to body shame.

5. Guard Your Money

Finally, if it’s not in your budget, don’t buy it beloved. I know your sister shows up like Old Saint Nick with gifts for everyone… Uncle Bill can’t wait to pull up in his 2020 Range… But you can not afford to go broke trying to buy validation. Honor yourself by committing to the financial discipline you’ve been practicing all year!

As you can see all five of these suggestions can be summed up in one word: boundaries. Setting and maintaining personal boundaries is something I’ve been working on all year. As the holidays approached I could feel myself becoming anxious. I began to worry that those boundaries would make me appear cold or distant. However, I’ve made too much progress in 2019 to lose it all at the dinner table. I encourage you nit to do so either! Xo

Dress//H&M , Wrap//K. Vaughn Scarves , Shoes//Donald J. Pliner

5 Benefits of Keeping a Gratitude Journal

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Inspiration, Life. Leave a Comment

Ever since I was a pre-teen I’ve kept a journal. My mother purchased my first one in middle school. In her spare time, she was a writer. Poetry and songs written in beautiful penmanship tucked away in stacks of dusty notebooks. She encouraged me to write as a way to be creative. I don’t think she realized just how therapeutic it would be also. Nowadays I begin every entry with gratitude. Naming at least 3 things for which I’m grateful. Doing so has changed my perspective. In this post we’ll discover 5 benefits of keeping a gratitude journal.

1. Shifts Our Focus

One can certainly argue that journaling in general relieves stress. Keeping one allows us to identify problems by writing through our thoughts and feelings. Thus, we are more likely to uncover the solutions. However, a gratitude journal not only helps organize thoughts, it helps increase mindfulness. How? By shifting the focus from problems to blessings. We arw are suddenly more aware of what’s going right in our lives. Not what’s wrong.

2. A More Positive Mood

Now more than ever it appears our society is hypersensitive to the perils of this world. Doom and gloom are front and center in the media along with our own individual challenges. The simple practice of naming all the things we’re grateful for trains our brain to be more aware of positivity. This daily reprogramming will increase our overall happiness over time.

3. Greater Satisfaction

I have seen firsthand that expressing my gratitude has given me greater satisfaction. Even scrolling through social media I no longer feel “behind” or “unaccomplished” or “covetous”. Why? Because I am satisfied with my present. Each day I’m reminded of how much I have. How much I’m loved. How far I’ve come as a person. This fills me with thankfulness and that leaves little room for comparison.

4. Better Sleep

First let me say that I work evening shift. So in general, I don’t fall asleep right away when I get in from work. However, I’ve certainly noticed that taking time to write in my gratitude journal before bed has calmed my spirit. After a hot shower, this allows me to refelct and relax. No anxious, worrisome thoughts keeping me awake all night. Instead I am at peace.

5. Increased Generosity

The more we shift our perspective to our blessings, increase positivity, find greater satisfaction, and get better sleep we will inevitably become more generous. Think about it – the more grateful I am, the more likely I am to lend a helping hand to someone else. When I stop thinking about what I don’t have and praise God for what I do… the more I give to others.

I’m sure there are more than 5 ways gratitude journaling has been beneficial , but these are a great place to start. I encourage you to take up this practice with me. Examine all the beauty in your life and document it in a daily journal. Watch yourself uncover more blessings than you ever realized!

Jacket//Kmart , Sweater/Jeans//H&M , Boots//Thrifted

Stripes + Spots

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Personal Style, Style. Leave a Comment

It’s been over a month since my last blog post and guess what? I’m okay with that. Blogging from a place of anxiety is no good. Don’t get me wrong sharing your experience with anxiety can help others, but the blog itself should never be the source. So a good seven weeks of being still was just what I needed. Also, I’ve missed you friends! Your girl has been working hard on the 9 to 5 (aka 2 to 10) but doing it fashionably nonetheless. Take this stripes and spots mixed print ensemble for example.

Last month we discussed my desire to begin mixing prints. It’s an area of style I ocassionally attempt but avoid overall. Of course there is no other way to remedy such a problem than to dive head first. When choosing to wear my pleated leopard midi skirt I resisted the urge to grab a black tee. Truth be told it was nowhere to be found, but I digress. This black and white striped shirt wasn’t my first choice. Which is why I knew it was the right choice.

Mixing prints is about not making the obvious style choices. Letting the color palette guide you into a fun adventure. These colors are all complimentary. The contrast is only between two elements; the shirt and skirt. Adding this tan blazer isn’t absolutely necessary but my office is cold. The leopard lining of the blazer is an added bonus.

Ditching heels for this look just felt right. These tassel loafers are super comfortable. I love wearing them with skinny jeans but they easily work with skirts. It’s perfectly fine to wear flats to work. You don’t have to sacrifice ypur personal comfort for a look. Hard to believe coming from a fashion blogger, but it’s true! These are the only feet I have. Why punish them? Simple gold accessories and this outfit is complete.

Have you tried pairing stripes with another print? Tell me in the comments below!

Blazer//Zara , Shirt//H&M , Skirt//Zara , Shoes//Ross

Printed Headwrap + Trousers

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Personal Style, Style. Leave a Comment

September is one of my favorite months of the year because it gives us all four seasons in one month. This can easily be seen in the streetstyle looks worn by fashion mavens all across the country attending NYFW. Slip dresses, leather pants, suede miniskirts, knee boots, and more filled the streets of NYC last week. Swooning over killer looks I noticed a lot of print mixing. While this isn’t my specialty I’m trying with this week’s printed headwrap and trousers.

These pants from H&M are so comfortable and can be dressed up or down. Having previously styled these with sneakers, as seen here, I felt heels were in order. Mules are all the rage this year and these criss cross beauties fit perfectly. A pearl buckle adds the cutest touch to the black satin.

A loose fitting tank in cobalt blue gives a simple yet playful feel to balance out the bottom. Very thin cotton calls for a tighter tank underneath. Which is more appropriate for my dress code at work. Tying a knot in front keeps it laid back. Finally I took this printed headwrap, which was part of a skirt set, and used it to accent the print of my trousers. The orange, yellow, and blue colors are vibrant againt the black and white print.

The combination of these deep waves with the headwrap guve such a carefree feel. To accessorize I went with a cute bucket bag and my go to sunglasses. These sandals are seriously just what the doctor ordered in this steamy weather.How do you style mixed prints? Let me know in the comments below!

Top/Trousers//H&M , Shoes//KG Fashions , Headwrap//Cici’s Boutique

Neon Biker Shorts

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Personal Style, Style, Trends. Leave a Comment

This past weekend hubs and I did absolutely nothing and it was perfect. Slept late, ate big breakfasts, caught up on movies we never got around to watching, and ate comfort food. Two full days of uninterrupted boo loving was just what the doctor ordered. Our baby girl is back to school, but summer’s not over yet. We still have three weeks till the official start of a new season. Which means y’all gone get these brights until then. Starting with these neon biker shorts.

I’ve gotta be honest, I was leery about wearing such a trendy piece. Especially since Philly jawns neon greened err body to DEATH this summer. But then I remembered I wear what I want (obasha) regardless. Once a decision was made finding these in store proved to be tricky. Forever 21 was sure to have them right? Wrong. I tried all my fast fashion go to’s only to end up where I should’ve started. The hair store.

Yes beloved, if there is anything I’ve learned it’s that the trendiest streetwear pieces can usually be found in the neighborhoods of those who set trends…. the hood. Make no mistake, that’s not shade at all. Black culture is pop culture and black women are trend setters. This is not up for debate. I’m actually mad myself for not going there first. I know better.

After finding a pair for $10 dollars I now had to decide how to style them. All signs pointed to a chunky sneaker and an iridescent fanny pack. Maybe add a visor and denim jacket as well? But failure to purchase said fanny pack eliminated that plan. Instead I opted to get another wear out of my favorite neon sandals. These Rachel Roy sandals circa 2010 are one of my favorite purchases. Perfect for doing the most. I figured why tone down the look when I can amplify it with more color.

To counter balance all the color below, I kept the top simple… so to speak. This fishnet peplum top adds a little edge to the entire look, which keeps it from being too campy. No purse or jacket needed, especially in this summer heat. If you find yourself avoiding a trend because “everyone” is already wearing it, remember that no one is quite like you. There’s room in this fashion universe for all of us to shine!

Top//Grazia , Shorts//Unknown , Shoes//Rachel Roy

Sequin Top + Glitter Pants

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Personal Style, Style. Leave a Comment

Once upon a time there was a girl who loved sequins. Tops, bottoms, bags, accessories, it didn’t matter as long as they sparkled. Years passed and that girl got a desk job, gaduated college, and let her love of all things glam take a back seat to pencil skirts and wrap dresses. Eventually her collection of glam dwindled, until one day she found a thrifted top and it reignited her love. Obviously, said girl is me and this week it’s all about my sequin top and glitter pants.

Adulting makes it incredibly easy to lose your sense of adventure when it comes to wardrobe. Cubicles, dress codes, and seminars pressure you to abandon your bright colors and certainly your sequins. Commuting an hour to work on public transportation doesn’t help. However, this second half of 2019 I’ve reconnected with my happy place.

The fun pieces I’ve worn in times past are coming out of retirement. Well, at least the ones I can still fit. This color block sequin top is one of them. A random trip to my local Goodwill and there it was, for just $5! Seriously, if you’ve never gone thrifting, you’re missing out. There are so many goodies waiting to be purchased. Soon after, a trip to H&M is where I found these glitter ankle pants.

The entire outfit was meant to be worn as my 33rd birthday look. However, that party never took place and I gained weight so the pants just sat unworn. A recent try-on had your girl feeling lovely since they now fit. I honestly couldn’t wait to wear this outfit. Remember those gold mules from last month? Well, here they are in silver. The perfect way to finish off the metallic theme.

Most people shy away from wearing these statement pieces during the day. But the idea that metallics are only for nighttime is ancient. Mix it up and add some pizzazz to your wardrobe!

Top//Thrifted , Pants//H&M , Shoes//Zara

Colorful Romper

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Personal Style, Style. Leave a Comment

Some days I feel super sassy, other days I feel refined and sophisticated. Then there are days I want to curl up in bed and eat chocolate. More often than not, those are usually the same days I’m scheduled for a blog photoshoot. So what do you wear when you’re hot, bloated, and you don’t want anything hugging your belly? My dear you wear a romper. A bright colorful romper to be exact!

After doing some digging I’ve discovered that I only have three posts on this here blog in shorts. You heard me, just three. All you shorts lovers out there, cut me some slack because I’ve only added them to my wardrobe recently. For two years I’ve been actively trying to incorporate shorts into the rotation. This romper has to count right?

This beautiful baby was found on another successful trip to Marshall’s. Although it’s pretty colorful, the bright coral caught my eye. It’s one of my favorite colors to wear in summer. The halter neckline was also appealing since I have few pieces that let me show off my shoulders. One trip to the fitting room and I was sold. The super silky lining feels amazing against the skin. The romper is tiered, making the waistline defined without being too tight. Considering these photos were shot during my period, I seriously appreciated that.

A romper is a great way to ease shorts into any wardrobe. They tend to be less restricting and more forgiving in the abdomen. The beautiful print reminds me of a tropical paradise. Extremely comfortable and affordable at just $16! What say you? Have you added any rompers to your wardrobe? Let me know in the comments below.

Romper//Marshall’s , Shoes//Diamond Collection , Sunglasses//CVS

White Button Down Dress

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Personal Style, Style. Leave a Comment

A friend of mine asked me to describe my style last week and it took a moment to give her an answer. After some thought I told her that my style consisted of boardroom and the block. I pride myself on having a healthy blend of haute and hood and I make no apologies. That’s the great thing about style, there are no limits. When I shot today’s look, I was feeling minimal. The focus needed to be all about this v-neck white button down dress.

Summer is all about ease for me in terms of wardrobe. Dresses are always my go to because they require little effort. Just slip one on and go. The perfect routine when temperatures are high and humidity is a beast. With most of my summer white pieces now too small, a new white dress was a necessity. Before heading to Amazon I decided to try Zara.

Clearly that was a great decision. Since the brick and mortar store at 18th and Chestnut closed, I haven’t shopped there lately. But this dress was waiting for me and it was on sale. A cool $20 this lightweight knit dress is a steal. You may be thinking “Isn’t it too warm for knits?” However, the dress is thick enough to keep you warm on a cool night, and thin enough to keep you from sweating buckets.

The shoulder straps on this dress are actually a bit too long for me. A common problem I encounter being a petite woman, but that’s an easy fix. Something one trip to the cleaners will handle. The large round buttons going down the front are what attracted me to this piece. They stand out against the off white and add an unexpected twist to your basic white v-neck dress.

To ensure the dress alone was the center of attention I kept it simple with my accessories. For footwear I opted for low black wedges to match the buttons. Then chose these white and gold statement earrings. They are far from minimal but against this big curly wig, they are somewhat muted. No purse, no bracelet, no necklace. Just me and the dress. What are your thoughts? How would you rock this dress?

Dress//Zara , Shoes/Earrings//Aldo

5 Self-Care Tips for Fashionistas

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Personal Style, Style. Leave a Comment

Self Care is defined as any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. I can’t say when, but within the last 5 years we’ve all become obsessed with self-care. Although it’s become synonymous with spa days and mimosas for some, the practice of caring for oneself is something to be cherished. In a world where anxiety is higher than ever and women are dying at alarming rates from heart disease, we all need to prioritize ourselves. While there’s a plethora of information about self-care practices online, I thought I’d try offer something for my fellow stylish ladies. Here are five self-care tips for fashionistas.

1. Donate Your Clothing

We all know that you can earn a pretty penny by reselling your preowned clothing and accessories online. Ebay, Poshmark, and consignment shops are awesome when you want to boost your bank account. But you know what’s equally awesome? Helping a woman who can’t repay you. Now don’t trip, I know this is a “self” care list but being a blessing to someone else is sowing seed that will produce a good harvest. Trust me, be a blessing and watch God bless you in return.

2. Stay True to Size

Wearing properly fitting clothes is totally a form of self-care. You honor your body when you treat her with respect… which includes honest sizing. Fashion is not a numbers game. Don’t get hung up on the number on the tag. Every woman knows her weight fluctuates depending on the time of month, lifestyle, etc. So be kind to yourself and stay true to size.

3. Dress to Express

Remember when you were a kid having fun playing dress up? Get back to that place! The business of adulting can sometimes stifle your creativity if you let it. Go ahead, wear your favorite color. Colors have the power to shift moods and evoke emotion. Feeling playful? Try that new trend you’ve secretly been afraid to wear. Don’t let your fear of others opinions keep you in fashion bondage.

4. Ditch the heels

Believe it or not, it’s okay not to wear stilettos every day. You only have two feet and they’re pretty necessary. Show your tootsies some love by taking care of them. Wearing flats is not corny (pun intended) or reserved for little girls and elderly women. There are tons of fabulous flats and sneakers out there waiting to be styled. By all means be comfortable, but make it fashion.

5. Treat Yo Self

A true fashionista knows how to look fabulous whether her budget is one hundred dollars or one million. Why? Because she knows that style isn’t about labels but about execution. I used to be a fan of “retail therapy” until I realized I was actually just impulse buying. Spending money unwisely is never a fashion do. However, treating yourself to something on your wishlist can be self-care. Buy the one of a kind purse or those red bottoms. Just don’t drain your savings.

Top//H&M , Pants//Ross , Shoes//Wild Diva , Earrings//Aldo

Join the village