Tag: change

It is Well… Making peace with 2016

If you’re reading this congratulations, you are among the extremely blessed individuals to physically cross over into 2017. You are alive. No, it’s not a churchy old head cliche thing to say my G, I’m dead serious (pun intended). So again, let me remind you: YOU ARE ALIVE! If I stop this blog post right now that fact should fill your heart with overwhelming gratitude and happiness. Nevertheless, there’s no denying that many of us are physically here in 2017 but our hearts and minds are still reeling from the global, local, and personal tragedies and/or disappointments we’ve encountered over the last twelve months.

I began 2016 overwhelmed by financial strain. In February my boyfriend proposed and it was one of the happiest days of my life. Excited and ready to finally take that next step, we set the date for January 7, 2017. In April we had a death in my family while preparing for my siblings graduations. By May I’d made the hard decision to move back home with my parents in order to save for the wedding and at the start of summer my fiance and mother both had great new jobs. My family’s collective season of hardship seemed to be over. Then in July while at a concert with my sister, she had a grand mal seizure. We spent the entire month at various appointments with neurologists as they determine if she has epilepsy. August 1st my fiance was abruptly let go from his job and by the end of the month the same was true for my mother. I must say, this nearly crushed me. I felt like what was supposed to be my happiest year was turning into my worst. In September another death in the family on my mother’s side and Thanksgiving weekend her brother had a massive stroke.

If you’re feeling battered by the events of 2016, trust me I understand. Many of you have buried loved ones, lost jobs, and ended relationships. It may seem like the positive affirmations, declarations, and decrees have been null and void over the last year but PLEASE hear this: God is sovereign! Proverbs 16:9 says “A person plans his ways but the Lord orders his steps.” I spent the last three weeks of this year reflecting and talking to God the father. Lord, what was the purpose for ___ , what was the lesson in ___ , how could I have handled/responded to ___ better, is ___ your will for my life or am I forcing something unintended for my destiny? These questions have yielded answers, some I honestly didn’t like so much. However, there is peace in knowing that my times and seasons are in God’s hands.

The calendar year has no bearing on the spiritual seasons of our lives. 2017 will be exactly the same as 2016 unless my perspective changes. Even if the circumstances don’t change immediately, my understanding of them can produce the fruits of long suffering and patience. If I let myself go there, I could be devastated that I won’t be getting married in 5 days. I could feel like a failure that I live with my parents again at age 33 and become angry with myself and God. Instead, I choose to see God’s plan unfold. I don’t always understand or agree with his methods but because I trust him and I know his plans for me are good, I can take comfort in knowing he’s with me. Purpose has a process! This process is unavoidable. It may include some heartbreak, embarrassment, and discomfort but ALL things are working for your good and pain is never wasted with God. 

Somewhere in the fall of 2016 God reminded me that life is not always going to be peachy, but it can be victorious. Many days I would get into prayer and worship, pouring my heart out to God. Writing in my journal and reading his holy word. In times of trial and testing we must learn to hide ourselves in him and let the joy of the Lord be our strength!  As we journey into 2017 the word of the Lord for me is change – maybe that resonates with you also. Change in perspective, attitude, thought processes, mode of operation, etc… My only goal for 2017 is to finish what was divinely inspired and to learn from the challenges of 2016. Let’s implement the lessons learned from the hardships of last year and make 2017 a year of visible change!

What I left in 2015

December 31, 2014 I stood in watch night service at church with my family earnestly making declarations for the coming year. 2015 was to be the year I got married, the year I released a short EP, and my year of debt cancellation. Not one of these actually happened. In many ways 2015 absolutely sucked…but it was also the best year of my life! If I could sum it all up in one word it’d be correction. In many ways I’m a control freak and as such, my perfectly made plans became more important than my relationship with God. I began ignoring the holy spirit and charting a new course without my navigator. As a result, God demolished the idols I’d made of weddings and stages, forcing me to confront my fears and character flaws. For this reason, the events of the past year had to happen. They were pretty painful but they produced good fruit. As a result, there are things that I’ve shed and left behind me…

  1. The need to have all the answers – Even in a romantic context, I generally hate surprises. As far back as I can remember I’ve planned my own birthday parties. I plan my outfits for the week. I plan my meals and only pair certain sides and entrees. I plan EVERYTHING and when I can’t control my situation my anxiety goes through the roof. Needless to say, if things don’t go as predicted, it can be very hard to adjust. Such was the case last year and it wasn’t until the 4th quarter of 2015 that I truly became aware that I don’t have to manipulate every detail of my life. As a child of God, my only priority is to submit my plans to Him and seek wise counsel. As I learn His will for my life through His word, my will begins to line up with His and I gain peace resting on His promises. My life is in God’s hands and there is a divine time table for everything He’s ordained for me…this I can unload the weight needing to have all the answers.
  2. Making emotional decisions – Perhaps the most important lesson of 2015 for me was the realization that I don’t always hear from God. I pride myself on having an active prayer life and a personal relationship with God. However, there in was the problem… pride. While there’s nothing wrong with taking pride in something, that pride can easily turn into arrogance and self righteousness. As an intercessor, I failed to realize my growing haughtiness and “I know God hears me” attitude. Intercessors can sometimes become big headed, feeling that whatever we ask/want/desire God will surely bless. Although the bible does encourage us to ask anything in faith and it shall be given, our request must line up with God’s word and His will. Being lead by my emotions last year, specifically frustration and fear, resulted in dullness of hearing. My emotions were louder than the voice of the God.
  3. Fear of failure – Having struggled with fear all my life, I am many times paralyzed from true progress, despite being a control freak. However, having failed big time in certain areas last year, I can now say I’m so glad I did! Failure is apart of success. I am 32 and I have a lot of mistakes yet to make. I refuse to allow fear of failure to keep me from making new plans and taking action. I’ve already survived embarrassment and have learned necessary lessons. God doesn’t want us to stop planning, dreaming, and creating our lives…but as our father, He does wasn’t us to trust His word and seek His guidance.

Well loves, I hope this has been insightful and encouraging. Especially for those who’ve experienced a much different 2015 than expected. I look forward to sharing more inspirational content rooted in my faith.  My hope is that my transparency is relatable to you. Let’s get ready for a much better 2016!  XO, Kira

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