Tag: encouragement

The Love Letters: Dear Groom to Be

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Inspiration, Life. Leave a Comment

First, I want to thank you. Thank you for taking a moment to have this conversation with me. SO you have made the decision, beyond all doubts and emotions, you have made the decision… CONGRATS. No matter what the price of the ring or how insignificant YOU try to make it (because of course you told yourself “this is the best I can do” secretly hoping she will accept it and wear it proudly), CONGRATS.

The one thing you didn’t recognize (and she would never know) this is the most vulnerable moment you’ve experienced with her to date. She’ll never truly know how much this means to you & if you’re honest with yourself, it means a lot more then even you realize. You are baring your all to her and with a few simple words both of you’re lives may change forever. “Will you marry me?”

The greatest thing about this moment is this was all intentional. The ring, proposal, the expectation of her reaction. Now what’s next? Do everything else with the SAME intentional passion!! Love, biblically lead, & listen to her in a way that’s indescribable. If she has dreams encourage, excite, & champion for her in ways that only she’d understand. Surround yourself with righteous future grooms & current husbands who think/show the type of Godly love that reflects your type of love for her.

Word from the wise, DO NOT LISTEN listen to those who have “general advice” about marriage. Save YO SELF homie! If not I got a song for you called “Did it to yoself”currently unreleased, but burning up the charts in all major markets, lol.  Secondly, whatever word you do accept, be sure to test them by the fruit of the giver. What do I mean by this? Everyone has advice for you based on THEIR experience with THEIR mate. Decide if you want your marriage to bare the same fruit.

Third, she is your friend & soon to be wife; your words & actions become her security blanket so your consistency will win every time. Lastly, NEVER forget you are husband & wife FIRST! Doesn’t matter how many kids you have, what the rest of your family demands of you, or what the world says you OWE to each other first. If either of you find yourselves negotiating “husband & wife time” based on outside demands, its time to stop, drop, & roll (book title is free, the rest you have to pay for). Be the man she learned to love & grow together. I wish you both God’s best & once again congrats on the engagement. We’re all here championing for you both!

Sincerely,

Jason

 

It is Well… Making peace with 2016

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Inspiration, Life. 2 Comments

If you’re reading this congratulations, you are among the extremely blessed individuals to physically cross over into 2017. You are alive. No, it’s not a churchy old head cliche thing to say my G, I’m dead serious (pun intended). So again, let me remind you: YOU ARE ALIVE! If I stop this blog post right now that fact should fill your heart with overwhelming gratitude and happiness. Nevertheless, there’s no denying that many of us are physically here in 2017 but our hearts and minds are still reeling from the global, local, and personal tragedies and/or disappointments we’ve encountered over the last twelve months.

I began 2016 overwhelmed by financial strain. In February my boyfriend proposed and it was one of the happiest days of my life. Excited and ready to finally take that next step, we set the date for January 7, 2017. In April we had a death in my family while preparing for my siblings graduations. By May I’d made the hard decision to move back home with my parents in order to save for the wedding and at the start of summer my fiance and mother both had great new jobs. My family’s collective season of hardship seemed to be over. Then in July while at a concert with my sister, she had a grand mal seizure. We spent the entire month at various appointments with neurologists as they determine if she has epilepsy. August 1st my fiance was abruptly let go from his job and by the end of the month the same was true for my mother. I must say, this nearly crushed me. I felt like what was supposed to be my happiest year was turning into my worst. In September another death in the family on my mother’s side and Thanksgiving weekend her brother had a massive stroke.

If you’re feeling battered by the events of 2016, trust me I understand. Many of you have buried loved ones, lost jobs, and ended relationships. It may seem like the positive affirmations, declarations, and decrees have been null and void over the last year but PLEASE hear this: God is sovereign! Proverbs 16:9 says “A person plans his ways but the Lord orders his steps.” I spent the last three weeks of this year reflecting and talking to God the father. Lord, what was the purpose for ___ , what was the lesson in ___ , how could I have handled/responded to ___ better, is ___ your will for my life or am I forcing something unintended for my destiny? These questions have yielded answers, some I honestly didn’t like so much. However, there is peace in knowing that my times and seasons are in God’s hands.

The calendar year has no bearing on the spiritual seasons of our lives. 2017 will be exactly the same as 2016 unless my perspective changes. Even if the circumstances don’t change immediately, my understanding of them can produce the fruits of long suffering and patience. If I let myself go there, I could be devastated that I won’t be getting married in 5 days. I could feel like a failure that I live with my parents again at age 33 and become angry with myself and God. Instead, I choose to see God’s plan unfold. I don’t always understand or agree with his methods but because I trust him and I know his plans for me are good, I can take comfort in knowing he’s with me. Purpose has a process! This process is unavoidable. It may include some heartbreak, embarrassment, and discomfort but ALL things are working for your good and pain is never wasted with God. 

Somewhere in the fall of 2016 God reminded me that life is not always going to be peachy, but it can be victorious. Many days I would get into prayer and worship, pouring my heart out to God. Writing in my journal and reading his holy word. In times of trial and testing we must learn to hide ourselves in him and let the joy of the Lord be our strength!  As we journey into 2017 the word of the Lord for me is change – maybe that resonates with you also. Change in perspective, attitude, thought processes, mode of operation, etc… My only goal for 2017 is to finish what was divinely inspired and to learn from the challenges of 2016. Let’s implement the lessons learned from the hardships of last year and make 2017 a year of visible change!

The Rival

Written by Shakira on . Posted in Inspiration, Life. Leave a Comment

Happy Tuesday loves!

Forgive me for this late post, Monday was cray cray and I’m overdue on my reflections from last week’s lesson. Week three we read about Sally Clarkson’s introduction to her eternal enemy, Satan, and his desire to devour all of us who are Christians. A newly converted young woman in college, Sally’s excitement about Jesus begins to fade as thoughts of judgment and criticism soon played on repeat in her mind. As a result, the reflection questions asked us to dig deep and examine the lies we’ve believed from the enemy about ourselves. Here are my two favorite:

  1. What voices are in your heart and head accusing you? For me, it’s the voices that constantly tell me I’m not good enough. That I’m not smart enough to be a medical professional, let alone fulfill my dream of being a doctor. Then there is the voice of fear always looking for the worst to happen.
  2. Do you understand loving yourself is a part of your spiritual worship to God? What do you need to address to do so? By addressing my negative feelings and silencing the devil’s suggestions immediately, I can keep my focus on God’s word and His promises. He loves me totally. I don’t have to dress a certain way, hang with the cool crowd, or have a specific personality type to have His approval. By abandoning the superficial standards of this world, I can be free of comparison, anxiety, and fear.

Week three was a much needed reminder for us as women to find our validation in Jesus Christ, not man. I pray that it inspires you to realize your true worth and reign as the Princess of the King. Below is this week’s memory verse and the meditation scriptures for the week. Until next time, XOXO!

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