Tag: love

The Love Letters: Dear Groom to Be

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First, I want to thank you. Thank you for taking a moment to have this conversation with me. SO you have made the decision, beyond all doubts and emotions, you have made the decision… CONGRATS. No matter what the price of the ring or how insignificant YOU try to make it (because of course you told yourself “this is the best I can do” secretly hoping she will accept it and wear it proudly), CONGRATS.

The one thing you didn’t recognize (and she would never know) this is the most vulnerable moment you’ve experienced with her to date. She’ll never truly know how much this means to you & if you’re honest with yourself, it means a lot more then even you realize. You are baring your all to her and with a few simple words both of you’re lives may change forever. “Will you marry me?”

The greatest thing about this moment is this was all intentional. The ring, proposal, the expectation of her reaction. Now what’s next? Do everything else with the SAME intentional passion!! Love, biblically lead, & listen to her in a way that’s indescribable. If she has dreams encourage, excite, & champion for her in ways that only she’d understand. Surround yourself with righteous future grooms & current husbands who think/show the type of Godly love that reflects your type of love for her.

Word from the wise, DO NOT LISTEN listen to those who have “general advice” about marriage. Save YO SELF homie! If not I got a song for you called “Did it to yoself”currently unreleased, but burning up the charts in all major markets, lol.  Secondly, whatever word you do accept, be sure to test them by the fruit of the giver. What do I mean by this? Everyone has advice for you based on THEIR experience with THEIR mate. Decide if you want your marriage to bare the same fruit.

Third, she is your friend & soon to be wife; your words & actions become her security blanket so your consistency will win every time. Lastly, NEVER forget you are husband & wife FIRST! Doesn’t matter how many kids you have, what the rest of your family demands of you, or what the world says you OWE to each other first. If either of you find yourselves negotiating “husband & wife time” based on outside demands, its time to stop, drop, & roll (book title is free, the rest you have to pay for). Be the man she learned to love & grow together. I wish you both God’s best & once again congrats on the engagement. We’re all here championing for you both!

Sincerely,

Jason

 

The Love Letters: Dear Bride to Be

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Phillipians 4:6 says “Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God.” 

Whether you have 8 weeks or 18 months until you say “I Do” you may currently find yourself getting overwhelmed. If so, let me say this plainly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Having been engaged for a year this Sun, I’ve been there and even as I write this I may have obstacles yet to overcome. However, I want you to pause for a minute and meditate on the scripture above. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you don’t have to succomb to the madness. You can delight yourself in the Lord and receive His peace.

Even if you’ve planned your wedding in your mind since the age of 6, nothing compares to the actual task of planning a wedding. There are so many details to consider, so many decisions to make, so many people to accommodate, so many pieces to the puzzle… It can honestly become stressful. You may find yourself disagreeing with your fiancé or having an all out fight. The ideas of family and friends may sometimes drown out your own voice, not to mention the task of blending two families and two sets of expectations. Opinions, however well intentioned, may hurt your feelings and sabatouge your self-esteem. Lastly, you and your fiance will no doubt frequently consider running away from everyone to elope. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so, please be sure it is your genuine desire and not a reaction to the stress of your engagement.

So how can you defeat or avoid overwhelm and manage to make your engagement a time of joy? First things first, you must remember why you said yes. The goal is for both of you to use this season of engagement to receive wise counsel and allow God to uncover, discover, correct, or re-direct. Believing you’ve found the one is not enough. This belief must be confirmed and your profession of love must be proven. I promise you that your love will be tested. However, use those unexpected challenges and hurdles to strengthen your love for each other and forge an unbreakable bond.

There will be those whose comments about the institution of marriage make you second guess your decision to committ. Those who tell you you’re losing your freedom or wasting your time since 50% of marriages fail. There will be those who are jealous (both openly and privately) and their lack of support and their absence during this season may hurt, but stay focused. Let your love for God and your love for each other be your motivation, not the desire to stunt on “haters”. After all, we’ve all been jealous of someone currently in a season we wish to enter. Maintain an attitude of grace and humility. Use this time to beautify your spirit and your appearance. Be like Esther and pamper yourself as you prepare for your king.  Seek the Lord for wisdom on how to properly love your Groom. Ask God to reveal the purpose of your union and how it will impact the Kingdom.

It is my prayer that as you transition from girlfriend to fiance to wife that you will do so with grace and discernment. Refuse to be a bridezilla and an ego maniac. Contrary to popular belief it is not “all about the bride”, it’s about the couple. Lay a strong foundation during your engagement built on love, trust, honesty, and integrity. Do this and I promise you’ll be your own #RelationshipGoals !

With love,

Kira

 

The Love Letters: Dear God

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1 John 4:7-9 says:

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.”

Your love for me is nothing short of death defying. Literally. You move heaven and earth for me. I am Daddy’s little girl and your thoughts for me are good and not evil. I must admit I still don’t understand exactly why you love me so fiercely. So completely. So unconditionally. This love, this amazing love is the air I breathe. What did I do to deserve this kind of love? Why are you so intent on staying committed to loving me when, at times it is unrequited? Surely someone else is more suitable. More worthy of such affection. You see, there are parts of me that bring me shame. Parts that threaten to discredit the woman you’ve always known me to be.

When I tell you this you insist on reminding me that you knew me before creation and how you long to be close to me. You are relentless in your pursuit of me. Though it sometimes makes me nervous, and I fear I will let you down, please don’t ever stop. Your love has changed me. It has made me brave and it has inspired me to love at all costs. Your love has been my armor and my mirror. When the lies of this world threaten my beauty, character, or my worth it is your love that reinforces who I am. My purpose is found in You and You alone. Father, your love for me has shown me what to expect from any man who desires my affection. It has raised the standard for all who claim to love me. Your love has also been the mirror of my character. Showing me the places that don’t quite look like your “selfie”. The parts that are rebellious and stubborn. Holiness is the fruit of loving you and it is your love that pushes me to forgive those who’ve hurt me and love my enemies. Your love is compassion. It is strength. It is the most transformative power I know.

Thank you for loving me. You are a good, good father, full of mercy and grace, justice and truth. I won’t run from it anymore but I will rest in it. I will stand up in it and allow it to remove all my fear. This is a relationship I will never regret. You are the lover of my soul. I am yours and you are mine.

Sincerely Yours,

Kira

 

One Month to Love: Letting Go

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“Love does not dominate; it cultivates.” – Johann Wolfgang Goethe

In the final segment of our study on loving our circle, we explore the art of letting go. Of what you ask? Simply the need to control our lives and the lives of others. Now I know what you’re thinking: I’m not some control freak, I just have better ways of doing things; I have a type A personality. Trust me, I know you mean well, but the truth is we may not even realize we’re treating people this way. Often times we employ these controling behaviors and strategies so invisibly that we’re unaware of our actions.

All of us push people’s buttons to create the experiences and relationships that serve our purpose. Some seek to control by being perfectionists and others by being intimidators. Then there are the worrywarts who control using anxiety while others are constant planners, and some who are micromanagers. In any case, our need to control often stems from core issues in our lives.

The six most common core issues are: hurt, insecurity, pride, guilty, selfishness, and unrealistic expectations. These issues tend to be the underlying reason for our desire to control. Wordly thinking says that taking matters into our own hands will eliminate the fear of the unknown. However, this keeps us from trusting God and others. Godly thinking says that the unknown is a place of trusting God and that perfect love casts out all fear. 

Lasting love isn’t just about what you can add but also what you can let go of in relationships. Simon Peter’s relationship with Jesus is a perfect example of someone who fought for control. The fishing story in Luke 5 describes how Peter had toiled all night with his fishing mates only to repeatedly come up empty. After some resistance and questioning Jesus’ instructions, he finally receives his largest catch ever by giving up control and obeying the master’s instructions. 

This miracle illustrates for us the benefit of giving God control of every area of our lives… not just the spiritual things. He wants to be included in your education, career, friendships, and romantic relationships. There is peace in submission and power in letting go! 

One Month to Love: Risking Awkwardness

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Are your close relationships in the danger zone of “Just Okay” ? 

In each of our close relationships there is a serious need for awkwardness. The kind brought about by diving benaeath the surface and getting real. There is a tendency in long term friendships or romantic relationships to reach a place where we feel we know all there is to know about the other person. Think about it, you’ve been besties for 15 years for crying out loud, what’s there to learn? Or perhaps you feel there’s nothing more to your little brother, after all – you changed his diapers. Maybe you even overlook your parents’ evolution into changing adults?

Instead of intentionally seeking to learn more from these individuals we settle for the following: “How was your day?” “It was okay, yours?” “Eh..it was fine.” Voila! Nothing was said, nothing was learned, just vague generalities. We become strangers to each other and before long, have no idea who our loved ones have become. However, all of this can change, the moment we risk being awkward. When we ask the uncomfortable questions.

News Flash: People are not Mind Readers! 

Yes, I’m sure you know this, but it needs to be said. For example I like to shop (duh, what’s the name of this blog… hello) and that is no secret. My friends also like shopping. What most of them don’t know is that I prefer to shop alone, early in the day, without a crowd. I’d much rather eat with a group than shop with one. Unfortunately, my friends aren’t mind readers, so when I’m squimish about going to a big mall on Black Friday it only appears as if I’m avoiding the squad.

While my scenario wasn’t a serious one, this same principle applies to your familial relationships and the romantic ones. We all recieve love differently. Some of us respond to gift giving, while others need verbal affirmation, still some require acts of service to truly feel loved. The point is, none of these needs will be met without us verbally expressing our needs to those who love us. Let’s resolve today that we’ll risk the awkwardness by asking neccessary questions. Let’s have the willingness to be uncomfortable and go deeper!

One Month to Love: Acting Intentionally

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Previously in our devotional study we learned how to give those in our circle the undivided attention they deserve by being present in every moment and actively listening to what’s being said. In week two, we now focus on the intentional actions needed to foster deep connections. This inquiry raises one question in particular…

Is your life too crowded? 

Have you become such a slave to your to-do lists and your demanding work or school schedule that you’ve completely neglected to spend real time with the people closest to you? The truth is, you don’t have time to do everything that everyone wants you to do, and you never will. However, you do have time for the important things… which is building our closest relationships. We must intentionally create space for these relationships to grow by not overcrowding our days with busy work, and taking time with God, family, & close friends.

Remove the obstacles. 

For many of us, this Thanksgiving will be the first time we’ve actually spent real quality time with our families. In our frantic dash to buy ingredients from the markets and bake the necessary pies, we’ve lost sight of what the holiday is actually about. To intentionally create space, we need to prioritize who gets our precious time. Family first… everyone else is second. Allow God to divinely interrupt your regularly scheduled program. After all an “annoying” interruption, is often God’s way of slowing us down to show us what’s really important to Him & Us!

One Month To Love: Being All There

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“Right now, there are three relationships in your life that trouble you.”  This was the bold statement that greeted us in the opening chapter of our 30 day devotional “One Month To Love” by Pastor Kerry & Chris Shook. I’ll be honest, this statement caught me off guard, however as I seriously considered it, I knew it to be true. As I begin examining the relationships I have with the people closest to me, I see much room for growth and improvement.

September 12th we began this devotional and week one was all about The Art of Being All There, how to truly be present with those we love. I have to be honest, I seriously struggle in this area. We are a generation of multitasks, possibly even more so than our parents due to the reality of social media and technology overload. How often are you having a conversation with someone but going through your mental to do list? Or sitting at the dinner table on a date while checking your IG notifications?

Active Listening involves being fully concentrated on what is said rather than just passively hearing the speaker. It is the act of listening and responding with the intention of producing mutual understanding. Knowing this, I’ve realized that I’m often not as attentive as I should be with my loved ones. It’s my desire that I become a daughter, friend, and wife who can be all there. One of my fiancé Jason’s favorite sayings is “Just be”. It’s a reminder to actually live in the present, to take it all in, and to love, listen, and nurture those in my inner circle.

Pass it On: A Beautiful Legacy

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Are you truly beautiful or just a pretty corpse? Will you leave behind a collection of possessions or a legacy of love? As we come to the close of our Beauty Begins study these are the hard hitting questions posed to us by Chris & Megan Shook. Psalm 145:4 tells us that “Generation after generation stands in awe of your work; each one tells stories of your mighty acts.” From this we see that we’re prompted to share the good news of God’s love and power to the next generation. Also, it becomes evident that OUR story needs to be told. Each of us is the main charachter in the story of our lives. To many of us, we feel our story has too many bad characters, loose ends, plot twists, etc.. However, these are exactly the things that make any novel thrilling! The great eternal author of time is writting a classic concerning you, a stroy of triumph to be shared for ages. Allow your testimony to encourage the next generation of beautiful women.

As I get older, I have began to truly give thought to my direction in life and whether I am really making a positive impact on those around me. Am I on a hamster wheel constantly running a race against time? Are my dreams mere fantasies or seeds planted in my spirit by God to bear fruit? Even now as I approach marriage next year I’m reevaluating my life. Have I gotten so consumed with being a fly fashion blogger that I’ve lost the sing & pray of Sing Pray Shop? I have now come to realize true beauty begins with the way I live, not with what I look like. My body is much different now than when I was a teen. This body will continue to morph repeatedly as I grow older. I dare not place my value on something so temporal as my figure or my clothing!

This study of Godly beauty has strengthened my resolve to live a life of love and passion for others. There is nothing wrong with loving fashion, makeup, jewelry, or even pursing careers in those fields if the Lord leads. However, I refuse to make an idol of those things or allow my own self occupation to pull me away from my first love…Christ. Even as a fashion blogger, I am most beautiful when I am serving God by loving others. This earthly vessel is never more radiant than when I’m in His will, living out the story He’s written just for me! XO – KIRA

Pretty Hurts: The Distorted Reflection

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Pretty-Hurts-Music-Video-Beyoncé-Part-2

Would you rather be described as beautiful or pretty? (Ask yourself and answer honestly) Now ask yourself, Is there a difference between the two? 

This is one of the initial questions we are asked to ponder in Beauty Begins: Making Peace with Your Reflection by mother/daughter team Chris Shook & Megan Shook Alpha. Chapter One entitled The Distorted Reflection invites us to discover the beautiful truth about God’s word concerning us, his precious daughters. But first, we must confront the lies we’ve accepted about ourselves via the OG liar himself, Satan. Jesus sheds some light on Satan’s entire agenda in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” 

See, the enemy of your soul wants to rob you of your self-worth, self-image, and your self-esteem. If Satan can get you to believe the lie that you are inadequate & cause you to hate your reflection, he succeeds in getting you to declare war on yourself. Why? Because he would hate for you to realize how fabulous you are or how fearfully & marvelously made you are…or that you represent God’s artistry. If you ever came into the knowledge that you are distinctly unique & important to God, you’d be unstoppable! Unfortunately, many of us accept the lies without question and the quest to be pretty and perfect begins.

In the song Pretty Hurts Beyonce poetically describes the ugly truth about our societal obsession with pretty: “Pretty hurts, Shine the light on whatever’s worse. Perfection is the disease of a nation. Pretty hurts, Shine the light on whatever’s worse. Tryna fix something, but you can’t fix what you can’t see. It’s the soul that needs the surgery.” After listening to such lyrics, one has to ask, If pretty hurts why bother? Well, as Chris & Megan point out in our reading, over time our culture has confused the concept of pretty with true beauty. With each decade changes in fashion & beauty impacted our overall perception of what was desirable.Pretty varies from culture to culture & is constantly changing within cultures.

In American society we’ve shifted from curvy to slim to waif thin back to curvy again. Hemlines have gone up an down, changing every decade as much as our fad diets. When women rely solely on the inconsistency of cultural ideals, it promotes insecurity & a need for man’s validation. The remedy for our national disease is the truth of God’s word and a willingness to embrace our true reflection in Christ. Beauty begins at the Cross! God took the ugliest event in history and used it to produce death defying, earth shaking, unconditional love.

It’s time to turn away from the images staring back at us in the media & see our true reflection in God’s word. Don’t believe the lies that you’re too fat, too skinny, too dark, too pale, too weird, too nerdy, etc… You are a masterpiece, God’s work of art! If you haven’t already, grab a copy of Beauty Begins and join Kira’s Krew as we finish up our 2nd quarter study of Self Love this month. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Rest in this truth all week long and allow God’s love to cast out all fear. This week, make a list of beautiful traits you would like to build into your character, based on the Fruit of the Spirit found in Galations 5:22-23. Allow the seeds of love & righteousness to produce fruit!

Love you to life, XO

 

 

Love as a Way of Life

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In this last chapter Sally Clarkson shared with us how her son Nathan left home for film school in New York, a city full of temptation and was confronted with his own commitment to the Lord. How would Nathan live his life? How would he use his time on campus to make an impact in the lives of  his classmates? It was simple…Nathan chose to love. God is love and He uses us to express His love to others! 

  1. Love is patient. Are there people in your life who need to see your patience so they’ll have time to grow? As the eldest child of three, I can often taken on the role of sister/parent. This can sometimes result in being demanding and critical. I’m the oldest, I’ve been there done that, just do what I say… This is not how you show your siblings godly patience. Moving forward, I want to create a place of safety for them where they have space to learn, grow, and become their own unique selves.
  2. Love is kind. What do you need to do to give kindness to others? Being kind means that I take the time to consider someone else’s feelings, perspective, and their situation. It is to be selfless and Christlike. To really spread kindness, I can not be self-centered.

To truly love as a way of life means to totally yeild our lives to the leadership of Jesus Christ. To learn and accept his love for us, and to then spread that love abroad. We must invest our time into caring for those around us, as well as ourselves!

We’ve come to the end of our devotional series “You Are Loved: Embracing God’s love for You” and I have to say that I’ve enjoyed these last eight weeks. A healthy relationship with the Lord is one that stands on the foundation of his love for us. His unwavering, unchanging, unconditional love. What an amazing gift!

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